spiral notebooks

I have spent my days rendering different ways to understand the universe only to realize that it's impossible to understand the universe. I have run around collecting words and phrases only to realize that words and phrases don't fit in my pockets. So I looked at those letters on the pages and I tried to figure out a new way to understand the stars. And as soon as I thought I finally had those little sparkles figured out, I looked outside to realize that there were no stars to be seen, that they had been hidden by something else. Something that appeared as cotton ready to wipe drops of blood from a wound. It was at that moment that I realized the fluffy white cotton candy in the sky that we used to see pictures of starfish and seahorses was beginning to pour down ocean water onto my front porch. I began to realize that even though my windshield wipers were going as fast as they possibly could, I still couldn't see in front of me because the heat of our breath mixed with the cold air from outside had created a foggy film that coated the windshield. I reached forward to wipe a portal of vision so that I might be able to understand the markings on the open road, but instead of wiping away the fog, I painted a picture. I painted a picture with the words and phrases that I use to explain the world. And even though I still don't understand those words and phrases, I keep painting in hopes that someday I will. I keep painting in hopes that someday my words and phrases will find their way to your words and phrases and that someday we will realize that we were both missing half the letters needed to create the story. Someday I will realize that my capital letter at the beginning of my sentence is missing the period at the end of yours. I keep painting in hopes that when I find you I will finally be able to understand my own writing. That someday I will realize that it's not impossible to understand the universe. But until then I will keep painting, because if I'm not covered head to toe with the leftover paint from my unfinished project, then you won't be able to know whose project you are supposed to finish. Because even though I don't know who you are, the color of your eyes, or the things your hands have been through, I know that I need your hands to finish my project. I need you to fill in the words in the empty spaces that I didn't know what to do with. Without you I can only understand half of the universe, which really isn't understanding at all. To receive half credit on a school exam is to receive a giant F. I need you to help me receive the A I've been looking for, because without you I will only be the small quiet girl in the back of the class room waiting for you to turn around and notice me. I don't notice you because I'm busy scribbling words onto lined pages in a spiral notebook. Words and phrases that are meant to explain the universe. What I don't realize is that you sit two seats away with a similar notebook in hand that contains half the words I need. Someday the seating chart will change and we will be moved together so that we can peak over at each other’s writings and discover the universe, but until then, I'll keep writing.

feel my sunlight



p.s. This is my attempt at spoken word poetry on a blog with no "spoken word". It's basically an amateur attempt at poetry. I'm unfamiliar with this kind of writing but it just kinda happened. And since words need a place to be read I figured that there was no better place to plaster my ranting thoughts than the place that I always plaster my ranting thoughts. So even though both you and I are unfamiliar with what ever the heck that was I'm going to post it anyways. So here's to me expanding my horizons as a writer, and here's to you expanding your horizons as a reader.

Spilled Milk: a lesson on Murphy's Law

Hiya friends!

Want to know something awesome?!

I locked my phone and my keys in my car...

What? That's not awesome you say?

I guess your right.

So if any of you lovely people try to text or call me and I don't respond don't be offended. I promise I don't hate you and I'm not ignoring you.

This last week I was able to go hang out with my family on the Oregon Coast. It was buckets of fun and thanks to Murphy's Law none of my pictures from my fancy pants camera will upload. And also thanks to Murphy's Law, my phone with the rest of my pictures is locked in the car.

It's kind of a Murphy's Law day.

Murphy's Law states that 

"Everything that can go wrong will go wrong." 

(Look teacher! I do pay attention in school!)

So I guess you'll have to survive with only the pictures that I've already uploaded to Instagram.

I was on this rode, therefor, there were more Whits on this Whitmore Road.

We found a tiny door at Burger King. #shortpeopleequality

Dad is livin' so big he hit his head on the midget door. Way to live big dad. We're proud of you. #LiveBig2014

Finally found a door my size!

lots of fast food

Portland Temple!

Beach Sistas

Required handstand picture.

Life is best when it looks like this.

So in the spirit of "everything that can go wrong will" lets talk about Murphy's Law. Murphy's Law means that all the bad things that can possibly happen to you will. HowStuffWorks.com states that "it may just be right. This isn't because of some mysterious power the law possesses. In reality, it's us who give Murphy's Law relevance. When life goes well, little is made of it. After all, we expect that things should work out in our favor. But when things go badly, we look for reasons."

What? It's my fault everything seems to have gone wrong this morning? No, but its my fault if I decide to dwell on it.

As we go through life we focus on all the bad things. The keys locked in car, the photos that won't upload, the frustrations with work, the million responsibilities we are trying to juggle, all the people texting you wanting your time that you don't have, the car accidents, the failed attempts, the tight money, the medical problems, the spilled milk.

These things happen to everybody.

But while we are focusing on the spilled milk we sometimes forget the milk that's still in the glass.

Murphy's Law is only relevant if we let it be.

Look down at your hands for a second and think about all the wonderful things they have done since you woke up this morning. They have probably done at least a few of these; made you food, brushed your teeth, combed your hair, drove your car, shook hands with someone, gave someone a highfive, picked something up, set something down, typed something awesome, scrolled through the internet, hit like on some social media site, played a musical instrument, pushed play on a movie, done pushups, done pullups, honked your horn, cleaned your house, opened a door, clicked on my blog, or maybe turned on some music.

Now, That's only a few seconds of thinking about the awesome things your hands can do. And this list is limited to one body part. Now think of all the awesome things in your feet, your mouth, and your brain. Think of all the things outside your body that are awesome. The list would never end. These things your hands did this morning are all remarkable amazing features that you have been blessed with the ability to do. But when you did any of these this morning did you think "Oh, it's so awesome that I can do that?"

Probably not.

As humans we expect only good things to happen to us, and we therefor, only notice when bad things happen. While what we should be doing is focusing on all the good things.

Hiliary Weeks, an astounding LDS singer and speaker, once talked and sang at a concert I went to. She talked about an experiment she conducted that resulted in the creation of her site billionclicks.org.

She had heard that on average the human things around 300 negative thoughts a day. She wanted to know if this was true so she decided to test it. She got one of these clickers and clicked it every time she thought a negative thought through the day.

Pretty soon she noticed that she was focusing on, and looking for all the bad things. She started to become depressed and was having a hard time focusing on the good things in life.

This is exactly what Murphy's Law is. Focusing on bad things until they are the only thing you can see.

She wondered if this same experiment would work the other way. If focusing on bad made her sad, would focusing on good make her happy?

She also tested this and it worked! By focusing on only good thoughts she soon had a new attitude about life. Things suddenly became better and all she did was change her thoughts.

When I heard this I decided I wanted to try it myself. I bout a clicker and I tested this experiment and am proud to say that it works! Now, this morning I wasn't thinking about this and was trying to figure out why everything was going wrong. When I realized that in reality, everything was going right. As soon as I changed my outlook on my day things got a whole lot better.

Since Murphy's law makes us sad, let's make up a new law that will make us happy. Let's call it Happy's Law.

There are so many good things in our lives right in front of our noses. We just have to open our eyes to see them.

So here's to the person who locked her keys in the car. Don't focus on the spilled milk, but the milk that's still in the glass.






feel my sunlight




p.s.  Thanks to too much spam comments I had to change my settings so that I have to approve comments that are posted. So if your comment doesn't show up right away don't fret! It will! Keep the comments coming! I love them!

p.s.s.I only have a year left of High School. I only have a year left of tumbling, and only a year left until I go on a mission. That's a crazy thought!

Men's hearts shall fail them

First things first. New blog design. I think I'm in love!

Second, aren't these girls just the cutest? I like them a lot.




Now what I wish to write about is a little bit on the tender side. It is in regards to THIS ARTICLE, which crushed my heart. This hit home hard and it is a tough thing for me to write about since it hit so close to home. I have been trying to figure out how to write about this and have failed to figure out the best way to do it, so I decided that I would just share with you my journal entry from yesterday morning because I think it accurately portrays how I feel.

June 10th 2015

Last night I was scrolling through twitter when I came across a news article about a man who had murdered his wife only two days before. It stuck out to me because the city was the same city I live in. When I opened the article I was surprised to see a photo of a familiar face. 4 year old Arraya, who is one of the couple's 3 children, was staring with tear filled eyes back at the camera. This image pierced my soul and my eyes immediately filled with tears. I coach darling little Arraya. She is one of the sweetest, most obedient children I have ever had the privilege of coaching. It pains me to know how much her little innocent life is going to be changed. She will forever be a name to my prayers. Until yesterday I thought the news was only for people I didn't know, but I now realize that the world I live in is becoming more wicked. In this tumultuous world men's hearts fail them. If we want to be in the world, but not of the world, we must look to God with an eternal perspective. Precious Arraya will see her mother again. We are amongst much wickedness, trial, and heartache and we must turn to the Lord for strength.


I have read this news article many times in the last few days. It has caused me to reflect on many other pains that come from living in this world.

Meg Johnson, who is an LDS motivational speaker came to our school last year and said, pointing to her own body which requires a wheelchair, "Bad days don't look like this..." and pointing to the student body said, "bad days look like this."

This world we live in does not spare a single one of us of trial and heartache. Every single ride is going to have turbulence, and some might even crash, but we must remember why we are here in the first place.

Elder Jeffery R. Holland said that
"We are living, and have chosen to live in a fallen world where for divine purposes, our pursuit of Godliness, will be tested and tried again and again... never lose faith in your Father in Heaven"

I do not mean to preach to others to tell them what they should believe, I only mean to write for the comfort of my own soul. I strongly believe that we were sent here for a purpose. We were sent here to be tried. We were sent here to grow. And when faith and trial comes, acting on even a twig of faith allows God to grow it.

When faced with trial deeper than we think we can bear we must remember that the Lord passed through trials for us more terrible than we can imagine. He suffered for every pain and every heartache of the entire world. It was the greatest love letter every written, and it was sealed with his blood when he died for us on the cross. He knows exactly how we feel and he wants to help us through it. We just have to let him.

I have a strong testimony of the Atonement the Savior suffered for us. He suffered for every sin, and every heartache. He knows the source of ever tear we have ever shed. He knows the exact feeling that caused them to fall. He knows us and he loves us more dearly than we could ever comprehend. I am so thankful that I don't have to wander my way through this life without Him.





feel my sunlight




p.s. Who shared there #DiscoverTheBook photos? I DID! Here is mine! If you haven't yet there is still time. Share a picture of yourself similar to mine below along with your testimony on any social media sites. Don't forget to use the hashtags #DiscoverTheBook and #CalledToShare. This was started by a group of LDS missionaries! Check out the official instructions HERE!

The Church is true and the good book is blue!

I stand as Proxy

Live is best when it looks like this.

Hey lovelies!

I hope you are all having a marvelous day.

Guess what I did today! I helped 10 wonderful souls get into Heaven.

For those of you who don't have a clue what I'm talking about I'll explain...

source

Before we were on this earth we lived in Heaven with our Heavenly Father (God). When we were born we passed through the veil which made it so that we would not remember anything from our life in Heaven. We were placed on this earth to be tested. We must show our faith in Christ by repenting of our sins and entering the waters of baptism. Baptism is a saving ordinance which means that it is required if we want to return to live with our Father in Heaven after this life.

Now, what about those who don't have a chance to get baptized in this life? What about those who die as young children, or who die old, but are never taught about the gospel? Are they lost?

Peter taught in Acts 10:34-35 that  

"34 God is no respecter of persons:

35 But in every nation he that feareth him, and worketh righteousness, is accepted with him."

If God is no respecter of persons, and if He loves all of His children, and if He really does want all of His children to come to live with Him again, then he would surly provide all his children with the same opportunity to receive the ordinances that are required for them to return.

What about the little children who die before they are baptized? 

Baptism is for the unclean so that they might be made clean. Children are born innocent, and therefore, don't require baptism to make them clean. Children don't need to be baptized until they are accountable for their actions. This comes at the age of accountability, which is at age 8. (D&C 68:25-27) If children die before age 8 they don't require baptism. They are automatically accepted into God's Kingdom.

Now, what about those who die at an older age, but still never got baptized?

This is where baptisms for the dead comes in. If you read my blog or follow me on any other social media sites, you might have noticed that I "go to the temple" a lot. Well, what I am doing at the temple is in fact baptisms for the dead.

Here on earth we have the opportunity to stand in as proxy for those who have passed on to the next life. In a sense we stand in and act as their bodies. [When my little brother was younger and we went to go do baptisms for the dead he thought that we were actually baptizing dead bodies. So just to make that clear we are baptized "for and in behalf of" those who have died. haha]

After their ordinances are performed for them they are then able to accept or decline them, thus allowing them to enter into Heaven if they decide to accept.

Now I want to share with you why today's trip to the temple was special. Normally when I go to do baptisms I do "Temple names", which are names of people that somebody else has found and given to the temple for others to do. But today I did "Family names", which are exactly what they sound like. They are names of my family members that I found myself.

It all started HERE at FamilySearch.org where I found searched out the names of those in my family who have died without being baptized

I then took those names to the temple and was baptized for them. 

It meant so much more to me knowing that the people that I was doing work for were people I was related to, and I can honestly say that I felt their presence while in the temple.

So to the youth of the church, as well as to the "older youth", I offer you a challenge to spend a few minutes searching your family history for names that need work done, and then go to the temple and do the work. If you don't know how to get started shoot me an email at feelmysunlight[AT]yahoo[DOT]com! I'd love to help! (I am after all, a family history consultant. It is my calling in the church to teach people how to do this.)

I have a strong testimony of family history work, as well as temple work. I know that this gospel is true and I love it so much. All I desire is for others to have this same joy in their lives that the gospel has brought to mine.




feel my sunlight



p.s. Isn't summer just the most wonderful thing? I think I am in love with it.

p.s.s. Shout out to Sister Hartvigsen for driving us to the temple today. You rock!

Maybe I'll talk about

Hi lovelies!

Remember when I blogged about these two awesome efy counselors?

Well, they're getting married today.

Every efy participant's dream. I cannot even handle how happy I am for them. Congrats to Braden and Randi. #EFYtoETERNITY #UpbraidethNotForever #Literally

You'd think that with school not in session that I'd be able to keep up in this blog land that I love so dearly, but God has had some other plans for my time.

I have been out of school for exactly a week and every single day has been filled with so much good, and I am oh so grateful for it.


So... what do I want to talk about today?

Maybe the fact that I completed 9:3 on the Whip Chart today. (for those of you all of you who are now going "WHATTT?" I will explain, at tumbling we have a chart that has a list of combinations of back flips. We work on them almost every day. We've done it for years. Today I did the hardest one on the list. It was fun.)

Maybe I'll talk about how much I love summer and how much I enjoy the whole no school thing. Last night I had a dream that there were all these desks in the gym and my coaches were telling me to tumble on top of them. I thought I was going to die because desks are not safe to tumble on desks (obviously). I'm pretty sure that was my subconscious telling me to avoid school at all costs.

Maybe I'll talk about how I'm going to Portland with the family next week and how I can't wait.

Maybe I'll talk about an awesome spiritual experience where I read an awesome scripture that demands to be shared. (Doctrine and Covenants 21:6 is awesome.)

Maybe I'll tell you about how I finally drove on the freeway for the first time since I crashed my car. It was incredibly scary and I didn't like it one bit. But, guess what! I'm alive!

Maybe I'll tell you about all the plans I have for the summer. I'm going to Portland with the family, and Palmyra New York for EFY, and Girls Camp, and Youth Conference. I am just so very excited for it all.

Maybe I'll tell you about how I think family history work is awesome and how I have no idea what I'm doing as a family history consultant. The bishop said that the only way I can do anything wrong is to not do anything at all. This is going to be exciting. I seriously can't wait!

Maybe I'll tell you about how we start doing stuff for Seminary Council next week and how I am VERY OVERLY EXTREMELY EXITED for that to happen. I really like seminary. Like a lot.

Maybe I'll tell you about how excited I am to serve a mission in a year, but how I wish the whole "getting your wisdom teeth out before you go" wasn't a thing.

Maybe I'll ask you what your current favorite books are because I need some new ones to read.


Or MAYBE I'll just refer you to somebody else's blog because I can't decide. Perhaps Al Fox Carraway. I really liked her blog post this week.

Read her post HERE

Ya. I think I'll do that.

Well, I love you all, and I hope you all have a fantastic day. I hope somebody brings you ice cream or cake because that would make your day even more awesome and you deserve that. Cake and ice cream are always a good thing because it's always somebody's birthday somewhere.





feel my sunlight



p.s. Sorry for the randomness of this post. ha I don't know how that happened, but I kinda like it.