just don't forget

We have all heard the saying "you don't know what you've got till it's gone." Sometimes that is true, but more often than not, the hardest goodbyes come from a saying more like "you always knew what you had, you just never thought you would loose it."

I have written many goodbyes (click HERE,  HERE, or maybe HERE, to read a few). I have a realy hard time saying goodbye. Anyone who has been to EFY with know I am the last one to stop crying. See, I don't often cry becuase of pain, and I don't often cry when I feel the spirit, but when it comes to saying goodbye to someone I become a baby.

Goodbyes have become a frequent part of my life. They break my heart. I try to tell myself not to cry because it's over, but to smile because it happened. Easier said than done.

My heart is breaking. Reading old posts that I wrote only two months ago about how perfect it all was. I wrote about how I couldn't immagine it any other way. I remember a few specific times where I thought "everything in my life is perfect right now... I wonder how long this will last." I wrote about how thankful I was for the way things were. Well things have change, and continue to change. My heart crys out in hopes you will come back, fully knowing that will never happen.

I just sit in wonder, and fear of what the future will bring. With a stitch of hope, and all the faith I can muster. I have prayed countless prayers, not that things will go back to the way it was, because I know that won't happen, but that things will turn out the way they should in the end. That I will be strong enough.

To all the theatre kids, to all the EFY friends, and counselors, to the kids I left when we split to go to separate high schools, to my beloved team mates, and coaches. You have all taught me so much. I am a different person because of you. I have never felt more love, than I have from these groups of people. Even if we never speak again, please never ever forget. Just don't forget.


feel my sunlight