Do not dwell

Stolen from the Mormon Channel... I like it.

I know I have written about tumbling quite a bit as of late, but I promise I will try to make it something you can relate with today. At least I will try.

Since my defeat at nationals (and no, I'm not saying I was defeated in the sense that I did terrible and I feel like a failure, I was defeated in the sense that I knew I was better than what my performance showed.) I have gotten a new perspective on things. See, when I first saw my ranking among the best athletes in the nation I was quite disappointed. I was mad at the judges, I was jealous of those select few with the opportunity to stand atop the podium and receive huge shiny medals, I was angry with the girls that I believed should have scored lower than I did, but most of all I was angry with myself. I was fuming on the inside and began to deteriorate and downgrade myself with thoughts about giving up because I might not be the golden girl, and thoughts that I might not ever be good enough. I was destroying my confidence and soon realized that it had to stop. In my anger I decided to put on a happy face and follow the advice from Shawn to enjoy the rest of the trip. I put on a smile and decided that it wouldn't make any sense to let this ruin my trip so I didn't let it and I must say It became one of the most fun trips I have ever been on.
When I got home I had a moment of defeat, but I soon had to make a decision. I could either cry and whine about it, or I could turn my defeat into hard work and my hard work into success. I realized that the attitude I bring to the table will be the most important ingredient in my final product and that if I wanted to make something of myself I had to start now. I knew I had the support from many of those around me and that no matter what I was a daughter of God and that if I made the right decisions I would be okay.
I made the decision then and there that I would punch this with everything I had. I made a vow that I would listen to my coaches and do my everything to accomplish what they tell me to do. No matter how terrified I might be. I made the decision that I would train harder than I ever had before.
I have had two days of training since I have made this decision. I have improved my attitude and my effort to listen to my coaches. I have put on tramp shoes once again and called out for help. I even got up early this morning to run with my brother. The results have been great and it has only been two days. The support I have received from Steph and Kodee have helped me regain my confidence and their support helps me push myself to my limits every time I punch off that mat. I love you two and am so thankful for you help! please don't stop what you are doing. You guys rock.

Now I share this with you mostly because it all that has run through my mind over the last few days, but I also share it for another reason. I share this with you as a proof that your attitude determines your outcome. You can make an excuse for everything. There is always going to be something that hurts or something that doesn't feel right, but if you give in to those excuses you will never become what you want to become. Some people have it handed to them with raw talent and never have to work hard, Some people just have the ability to do what the judges what to see. I on the other hand, don't have that raw talent, but I do have a determined attitude. I heard a quote a long time ago that said...

"Hard work        

       beats talent      

      when talent doesn't            

work hard."

I intend to be that hard work. What are you going to work hard at?

Feel my Sunlight

p.s. Today Kodee and I legitly convinced one of our girls that Kodee's real name is Friday. I didn't think she really believed us but at the end of class she came up to me and said "Friday said I could have three treats." I almost died.

all the times

{My sister and I six years ago}

Well, I caved. I cut my bangs again. I tried growing them out but I got tired of braiding them so here we are. I have recieved mostly good comments, however, my favorite comment came from one of my four year olds yesterday durring class. She said "You look pretty and beautiful with your bangs, but you look kinda weird." I just laughed.

I have had a few experiences with kids in the last couple of days that have made me think. This specific girl shook me awake and made me realize how much kids are watching me. They are always watching. Yesterday at the gym a little girl came up to me as I was taping my ankle and said "I saw you when you were a teacher {I had just changed and put my hair up for tumbling} I liked your hair." Then she continued to talk saying things like "It's cool how you are a teacher and you still do tumbling. I want to do that when I get bigger." Then she showed me all of her tricks and asked me more questions. It just made me realize that I am being watched by the kids that I do know, as well as the ones I don't. I just thought I'd share that with a warning to you. Think about what you do. You never know who is watching you, and who wants to be just like you.

Yesterday on the drive home from the gym I listened to my little sister tell me a plot to an episode of Good Luck Charlie. She didn't know I knew it was Good Luck Charlie so she explained every aspect of the show. She told me what each character looks like and what they did. She told me everything she thought was funny. I just let her tell me. It made me laugh because it seems like that was me a few years ago, it also made me laugh because it made me think "is this what being a mother is like?" That freaked me out a bit. I mean, I only have two more years of high school, then we are released into the real world.

Oh how short these last 10 years has been, an oh how much I have learned. All the people I have met, and all the strangers I have talked to. All the groups I have been a part of. All the days I made my way to school. All the math problems I have done, and all the spelling tests I have taken. All the performences I have been a part of. All the tumbling class I have taken, All the tumbling classes I have taught. All the times I have laughed, all the times I have cried. All the times I have sat around the Christmas tree to oppen presents. All the rides in a car seat, to all the times behind the wheel. All the Sunday nights. All the songs all the blog posts, all the pictures. All the bikerides, all the TV episodes, all the times with friends, all the "hellos", the "goodbyes", the "I love yous". These have shaped me. These are me. And I love it.




Feel my Sunlight



p.s. Only 33 days until National Championships. Only 33 days until I can eat sugar. See you on the flipside.