"Her hair was red.. Her name was Hellen.. Her hair looked like... A watermelon."

This week was perhaps the most INSANE week in history...

Perhaps...

Last time I talked to you it was Monday... Independence Day... Happy I-Love-America-More-Than-Anything-Day...

My day when like this: We woke up and went to Wally World to do our weekly grocery shopping... WORST. IDEA. EVER. That place was like a beehive, and not one of those "Industry, everybody eager to serve one another beehives" either. But you know, it's fine.

Then we went to the church to email y'all. Then we went to Sister Miller's cookout and she lives down this BEAUTIFUL winding dirt road in the forest and I felt like I was in wonderland it was so pretty. M (recent convert) and her son W (our investigator) both came with their entire family. That was fun to have them there. Then we made our way to Tangerine Rd because Lemon Rd was closed and went to David's house. His party was magnificent. There was somewhere around 75 people and many of them were non-members. He had a blow up slide, water games more food than you can handle, and a snow cone machine. He had this live band that was superb! They played all my favorite country music that I haven't heard in 9 months and I was in heaven. Then when it started to get dark we went down by the lake and all of the houses around the lake launched fireworks that would be illegal in Utah. Then....WE LAUNCHED LANTERNS LIKE ON TANGLED AND I FULFILLED MY DREAM AND I'M NOW A DISNEY PRINCESS....BUT THEN THE FIRE MARSHAL SHOWED UP AND TOLD US THAT THE LANTERNS ARE IN FACT ILLEGAL THIS YEAR AND WE COULDN'T FINISH LAUNCHING THEM. whoops. I did an illegal thing. Don't worry... I'll send pictures. Then the city launched the city fireworks right next to us and they were magnificent and they reflected onto Lake Helen and I couldn't help but think just how perfect it was and then ash started to fall on my face and I felt good about life.

Happy Murica Day friends.

The exciting events of Tuesday consisted of meeting with J and T (the ones who refuse to call us by our last names.) I showed them a video about being a Good Samaritan and somehow they pulled out of that video that it's their duty to call the local government and ask them to arrest the Presidential Candidates... 

K well I was thinking more like "hold the door open for someone" or "send someone a card telling them how much you appreciate them" but you know... You do you. 

Haha I love them. They are some of my favorite people ever.

Then when Sister Stuck was driving us home she decided to buy us Wendy's which was so nice! Ahhh I love people! BUT THEN Sister Kuhne gave us a ride to the church for addiction recovery she insisted on going to KFC.... FAMILY WHEN I COME HOME FAT PLEASE DON'T JUDGE ME... THEY MAKE ME EAT DINNER TWICE HERE. #GodBlessTheUSA

Wednesday we were sitting there on the bench and Sister Larsen dared me to eat ALL THE LISTORENE STRIPS and I died..... And then I was breathing frozen fire for the next hour. We went to Trinity United Methodist Church and helped in their food pantry. There was this 94 year old man named Freddie working there that just made my life. He would just be sitting there sorting his strawberries in silence when all of the sudden he would break out into song and sing things like;

"Her hair was red.. Her name was Hellen.. Her head looked like... A watermelon."

And then every time somebody would bring him another box of strawberries he would whisper "everybody hates me." Hahaha he was the funniest lil old man.

#LifeGoals

We also had a pretty great lesson with W where we read Mosiah 4, and a fun time at Book of Mormon class.

Thursday we had district meeting and Sister Larsen and I said the opening and closing prayers. Word. Then we did service for Sister Dewberry and played with clay with her son Mason. They are my absolute favorite. That night we had dinner with the Mixon's at Sonny's Bar-B-Q... I'm telling y'all... When I come home fat don't judge me. ✌🏻️

Friday was weekly planning. We also had dinner with the Maha'a's (do you put two apostrophes in there???) Brother Maha'a is from Tahiti and it made me miss my BFF Lauren who's serving in Tahiti. S/O to Lauren! We also had this awkward moment where this girl we had contacted a few weeks ago brought me my food and I didn't recognize her until after she walked away.... *slides down in seat so nobody can see me*

Saturday we were going to go tract but it was hotter than Hades outside so instead we had a whole bunch of phone lessons with people in the ward. That was really cool. We also went with Sister Leedom to have a lesson with W....

...so there is this place in our area called Cassadega... Google it... It's a witch town. It's a red zone and we are only allowed to go through it if a member is driving us. Well Sister Leedom was driving us home after Will's lesson and she decided to take the road that goes through Cassadega and she rolled down her window and started doing witch chants out the window... She was just pretending...I think...

We also had dinner with the Chambers at Steak 'N Shake. 😂 

Sunday we went to ward council and witnessed the most heated discussion about hymns I think the church, and maybe the world, has ever seen. My idea was to just let the book fall open and sing whatever hymn it opens to....apparently it's not that simple. Then at church and we HAD SIX INVESTIGATORS AT CHURCH!  WHAHOOOOOO! What even is life? Since three of our investigators that came are young women age we went to young women's instead of relief society. It was a blast and a half and I've missed being in young women's. After church we did some finding and went to dinner with the Wards. They are the funniest family and Brother Ward told us stories from his mission. It was a good time. Then Sister Larsen and I came home and had a dance off and I learned that I don't know how to dance. 😂💃🏻

Well folks, I don't have much else to say other than that I think y'all are great. I love being a missionary and I know the church is true. Keep being great and don't forget to be awesome.

Out of context quote:

"I just know the face you make when you're about to say something dumb..."

I love y'all more than southerners love to fatten the missionaries!