Someone else's trial

I walked into a room full of people from every walk of life. I was unknowing as to what kind of a meeting this would be I was surprised to notice that the chairs were laid out in a large circle all facing the center. My aunt with her young children running around in circles was seated a few seats to my right. My neighbor who had reticently set out on his mission on the other side of the globe was sitting across the room. As I sat there I noticed a lady who's husband had died of cancer only a week before sitting next to her daughter who was now left fatherless. Seated next to me was the girl from my math class that did't have anyone to eat lunch with and on the other side of her was the girl with bright curly hair who reticently stared in a movie. As I sat and observed the dynamics of the situation I watched as all the people I had met through my life as they began to file into the room. Each with their own unique trials and concerns.

But I didn't notice those concerns on the outside. I began to think about how cool it would be if I could have that curly hair and star in a movie, I looked at the girl who ate lunch by herself and thought "well if she wanted friends to eat with she would come over and ask if she can sit with us." I looked around each person in the circle and looked at how magnificent their lives were. I was jealous of the girl was sitting by her mom because she had the nicest car and the widow because she had a nice house. 

As I sat their noticing everything that these people had I began to want what each of them had. I wanted their cool houses and their nice shoes. I wanted to travel like they did and I wanted a job that paid better. I wanted to have their money and their home lives.

While sitting in my covetous state as each person settled into their seats a man stood up and welcomed us and thanked us all for coming. I, still not knowing what this meeting was for, assumed it would be like any other church meeting where we would sing a song, say a prayer, and then listen to a teacher for a few minutes before going home.

The man in charge said that we would be singing hymn number 241 Count Your Blessing and then we would have an opening prayer by sister Parkin. I opened up my hymn book and muttered through the versus and then closed my eyes for the prayer. Sister Parkin stood up and prayed that during this meeting we would all be able to pick new trials that would be easier for us. She also prayed that we might be able to have a good rest of our Sabbath day and that we might be able to drive home in safety when the time came. 

After she said amen the man that was conducting stood up again. He said that today we were all going to pick new trials. He asked us to take out ours and place them in the center of the circle. I was more excited than I had ever been. I thought for sure I had the hardest trials in the group and felt relieved that I would be able to get somebody elses. I quickly opened up my purse and pulled out my trials and tossed them in the center. After everybody had put theirs in the middle he said that one by one we would take turns picking new trials. As I waited for my turn I sat in anticipation about what new trials I would get. I watched as each person would get off their chairs and begin to dig through the large pile of trials and pick out the ones they wanted.

When it came to my turn I got off my cold metal chair and knelt on the hard blue carpet. I began to sort through the pile. While on my knees I read about a trial of having your husband die of cancer and how hard it would be. Because this is a more public trial I knew exactly who had thrown it in the circle. I decided I didn't really want that one so I threw it back in the pile. I pulled one out that said that their family was in pieces and that they couldn't remember the last time they did something as a family without someone getting into a fight. I for sure didn't want that one so I threw it back. I read about the teenager who struggles with a pornography addiction but doesn't want to tell anybody. I read about a trial of a first grader who got picked on at school for his lisp and a fourth grader that was reticently diagnosed with epilepsy. I read about the lady with lots of kids and not enough money to buy them Christmas presents and the sixth grader who had recently found out she was adopted. I read about the lady who desperately wanted another child but wasn't able to have one. 

As I dug through this pile I began to think about how none of these trials fit me. I quickly found my original trials and stuffed them back in my pocket and sat down.

After all of the trials had been taken from the center the man conducting stood up and read a quote by Regina Brett that said;

“If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.”

We all sat in shock as we realized that that was exactly what each of us had done. I stuck my hand in my purse and felt my trials between my fingers.

He went on saying that while on the outside we all think we want what everybody else has and that we must surely have the hardest trials when we begin to look at the bigger picture we realize that these trials we've been given were designed specifically for us so that we might be able to become stronger and have joy.

I raised my hand and asked "how in the world do trials bring us joy?"

He smiled as he opened up his scriptures to 2 Nephi 2:25 which reads "Adam fell that men might be, and men are that they might have joy." 

He then pointed out that under the footnote for the word "joy" it said that joy is the potential to become like our Heavenly Father.

It was then I realized that joy is not found in a big house or in becoming a famous YouTuber. It was then that I realized joy meant becoming like our Father in Heaven. 

Then another man walked into the room. He was wearing red and had a beard and He looked at each of us with kind eyes. The man conducting the meeting introduced him to us as our brother. Our brother went around the room and collected each of our trials from us and told us that he would go through each of them before we had to. 

He did this so that we might be able to have somebody to ask when we have questions about our trials, so that we might be able to have a shoulder to cry on when it feels like it's too hard to move on, or a hand to squeeze when the pain gets too bad. He told us that he would carry us every step of the way and that he would always be with us silently waiting for us to ask him for help. He then promised that if we endured our trials well that we would be exalted on high. 

I realized that to be exalted on high meant that we would become like our Heavenly Father and we would return to meet with Him in heaven. I realized that this was the ultimate joy that everybody was speaking of. I discovered that we needed these trials to become perfected and that while this man they said was my brother couldn't take them away, he would help me.

He then told us that his name was Jesus Christ. I remembered learning about Him in my primary class. He showed us his scars from where they nailed him to the cross so that we might all be able to live again. He also told us about how he suffered for each of our sins so that we could be made clean and how we can be cleaned by that atonement through repenting and being baptized.

At the close of the meeting after Brother Wall said the closing prayer the Savior hugged each of us and told us that He loved us.

When I left that room I knew that even though on the outside we all feel like others have better circumstances, that each of us were given trials that would make us strong. I also knew that the Savior was indeed our brother and that he loves us each so much that he was willing to suffer for all of our trials and afflictions so that we might be made whole. I also know that He died for us so that each of us would be able to live again.

Our Savior loves us. He is our brother and He wants us to return with Him to live with our Father in Heaven and that He will do anything to help us get back. While the story of throwing our trials in a circle was just a story, I know that the fact that we have a brother that did these things for us is with out a doubt true. I know this because I felt it. I learned this through reading the Book of Mormon and praying for my own testimony of these things. I know He is there and that He loves us more than we will ever comprehend. My testimony of Jesus Christ has brought me more joy and happiness than I have ever felt from anything else in my life. This is why I write this blog, It's why I have chosen to serve a mission in Orlando Florida in 38 days, because I want everybody to hear about how great their brother is and how much they are loved. I hope that I can follow in His footsteps and be his disciple. I hope that you come unto Him.

feel my sunlight

p.s. I went through the temple on August 1st! It was amazing and I loved every second of it! It is defiantly the Lord's house and his spirit dwells there.

p.s.s. Shout out to all my friends starting college next week! I love you all to pieces and will miss you bunches. Goodbyes are hard, but it will all be worth it in the end. The best is yet to come.

THREE {the real reason for the Season}

Merry Christmas everyone! And boy has it been a good one.

On Sunday my good friend Raegan was giving a lesson in Sunday School. She shared a story that I instantly fell in love with. It's a story that follows the lives of three special trees and what they would tell you if they could talk. This story is the perfect story for this special occasion we celebrate on the 25th of December every year, but it also lays out a pattern we should follow during the other 264 days of our lives. This is the Story of the Three Trees:

Once there were three trees on a hill in the woods. They were discussing their hopes and dreams when the first tree said, "Someday I hope to be a treasure chest. I could be filled with gold, silver and precious gems. I could be decorated with intricate carving and everyone would see the beauty."
Then the second tree said, "Someday I will be a mighty ship. I will take kings and queens across the waters and sail to the corners of the world. Everyone will feel safe in me because of the strength of my hull."
Finally the third tree said, "I want to grow to be the tallest and straightest tree in the forest. People will see me on top of the hill and look up to my branches, and think of the heavens and God and how close to them I am reaching. I will be the greatest tree of all time and people will always remember me."
After a few years of praying that their dreams would come true, a group of woodsmen came upon the trees. When one came to the first tree he said, "This looks like a strong tree, I think I should be able to sell the wood to a carpenter,"and he began cutting it down. The tree was happy, because he knew that the carpenter would make him into a treasure chest.
At the second tree the woodsman said, "This looks like a strong tree, I should be able to sell it to the shipyard." The second tree was happy because he knew he was on his way to becoming a mighty ship.
When the woodsmen came upon the third tree, the tree was frightened because he knew that if they cut him down his dreams would not come true. One of the woodsmen said, "I don't need anything special from my tree, I'll take this one," and he cut it down.
When the first tree arrived at the carpenters, he was made into a feed box for animals. He was then placed in a barn and filled with hay.
This was not at all what he had prayed for. The second tree was cut and made into a small fishing boat. His dreams of being a mighty ship and carrying kings had come to an end. The third tree was cut into large pieces and left alone in the dark. The years went by, and the trees forgot about their dreams.
Then one day, a man and woman came to the barn. She gave birth and they placed the baby in the hay in the feed box that was made from the first tree. The man wished that he could have made a crib for the baby, but this manger would have to do. The tree could feel the importance of this event and knew that it had held the greatest treasure of all time.
Years later, a group of men got in the fishing boat made from the second tree. One of them was tired and went to sleep. While they were out on the water, a great storm arose and the tree didn't think it was strong enough to keep the men safe. The men woke the sleeping man, and He stood and said "Peace" and the storm stopped. At this time, the tree knew that it had carried the King of Kings in its boat.
Finally, someone came and got the third tree. It was carried through the streets as the people mocked the man who was carrying it. When they came to a stop, the man was nailed to the tree and raised in the air to die at the top of a hill. When Sunday came, the tree came to realize that it was strong enough to stand at the top of the hill and be as close to God as was possible, because Jesus had been crucified on it.
The moral of this story is that when things don't seem to be going your way, always know that God has a plan for you. If you place your trust in Him, He will give you great gifts. Each of the trees got what they wanted, just not in the way they had imagined. We don't always know what God's plans are for us. We just know that His ways are not our ways, but His ways are always best.
May your day be blessed. And until we meet again, may God cradle you in the palm of His hand.


As we celebrate Christmas we often make the mistake of leaving baby Jesus in the manger. We decorate with nativity sets and we sing of silent night, but we forget that Jesus didn't stay in the manger for very long.

On the last day before leaving on Christmas break I was sitting in a seminary assembly when we learned about the three levels of Christmas.

The first level is the level of Jingle Bells and Santa Clause. It is the level of stalkings and Rudolph, It is the level of elves and toys. While this level is fun, it often distracts from the more important levels of Christmas.

The second level is one of Jesus Christs birth. It includes silent night and nativity sets. When people tell the story of the birth of Jesus Christ, it is the second level in which they celebrate. While this is the most popular level when it comes to Christian Christmases, it is not the level we should stop at. Christ's birth was the most magnificent birth, but there is so much more to be celebrated when it comes to celebrating Christ. I do not remember who said it, but there is a quote that says "the man who leaves baby Jesus in the manger will be sorely disappointed." It is often said that if it wasn't for Christ's Atoning sacrifice, his birth would have been just another birth.

The third level of Christmas is possibly the most magnificent. The third level of Christmas follows Christ through the rest of his mortal ministry, and can also follow us into the rest of our year if we let it. This is the level of the Atoning sacrifice of Jesus Christ. This level of Christmas celebrates Jesus as the Christ. Jesus was foreordained before the earth was created to become our Savior, by suffering for all of our pains and afflictions, atoning for our sins, and ultimately suffering the pains of death so that we might be able to return to live with our Father in Heaven if we might repent. The third level of Christmas is the real reason for the season.


I love the above story because it does not leave baby Jesus in the manger, but also gives a small glimpse into his life and ministry, as well as give a reminder as to why Christ is so celebrated this season; because of his Atonement. 

I also love this story because it invites you to place yourself into Christ's story. It is a reminder that while Christ's birth, life, and death are the greatest gift you have ever been given, it will prophet you nothing unless you accept him into your life and follow his commandments. 

As this Christmas season comes to a close I hope you all take a minute to celebrate the real reason for the season, and in the words of Adam, our seminary council president, "I invite you to dedicate some time to our Savior, and appreciate his eternal sacrifice and his condescension, so that all mankind may be saved. It is his birthday after all!"


I love you all so much and am thankful for you every day of my life. I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and all the joy I can summon. 




feel my sunlight






p.s. Santa brought me mission luggage! And fun fact... I can fit inside it! haha

 

night changes

Does it ever drive you crazy 

Just how fast the night changes 

Everything that you’ve ever dreamed of 

Disappearing when you wake up 

But there’s nothing to be afraid of 

Even when the night changes

Well hello friends!

Have you ever just listened to a new album all the way through and had it speak to ever aspect of your life at that very moment? I have had One Directions new album playing for the last hour and a half and words can't even describe my emotions right now.

Does it ever drive you crazy just how fast the night changes?

I can't even explain how much this is about my life in this exact moment. It seems that my world is spinning at a million miles an hour in the right direction. It's almost like I have just begun to breath the most beautiful air just as the realization that it's all about to change knocks the wind out of me and I struggle to keep the last breath of sweet air in my lungs.

I don't know how else to explain it.

I was sitting here listening to this album when I came across a song called 18 when I thought "hey I'm 18!" but then literally thought "no... no that can't be right."

18 means I'm a senior in high school.
18 means my last year of public school.
18 means all the friends that I have gone to school with for as long as I can remember are about to become people I only see on Facebook.
18 means seminary council is almost over.
18 means my life right now is about to become memories.
18 means mission papers.
18 means college decision.
18 means graduation.
18 means this is my last Christmas before I leave on a mission.
18 means attending the farewells of all of my friends.
18 means my night is changing.

As I pondered these things I realized just how fast these changes are happening and just how little I can do to stop it.

Santa has bought and wrapped my mission luggage, and the colleges have my applications. Whether I like it or not things are about to change.

All my life has been planned up until graduation. Every year I left school in the Summer with complete assurance that I would find myself sitting in another desk within three months. This is the first time the plans have been changed.

While it's everything I've ever dreamed of-- Graduating, going on a mission, attending college-- It still drives me crazy just how fast the night is changing.

But even though it seems that things are about to change, many amazing things are happening as well!

While I've been away on holiday from my blog (do I sound British? Oh please say I sound British!) many things have happened!

Last weekend I went to Cotillion with the adorable Hayden Rigby and had a blast! Thanks again Hayden!

 

Turns out December was also a month for tumbling reunions. I got to see Anedy and Shawn who are some of my favorite former teammates at the Utah Gymnastics Preview...

 

and a few days after that I got a surprise call from one of my other former teammates, B, telling me to come to the gym because all my best friends were coming to visit!

 

It was so much fun to see everyone!

Another exciting gym happening took place at our annual competition team party which I was working. I was playing games with the 7 years old and under group when all of the sudden one of our little girls gets very big eyes and grabs onto me for dear life. I turned around to see a large Grinch walk into the gym just as a few other little girls begin to notice and demand hugs. All the older kids thought he was awesome, but some of the little ones weren't convinced, which was great for me because now they all think I'm a superhero because I saved them from the scary Grinch. And then after the Grinch left I gained a small fan club. It's moments like this when I love being a tumbling coach.

And perhaps one of my favorite parts of December was our annual ginger bread making party with the Daniels. Which is technically a graham cracker making party because we can't handle real ginger bread. We have done this every year for as long as I can remember and this year is the last year that we will all be here since both Lauren and I will be on a mission next time this activity comes around. I'd say it was a success even though the houses haven't gotten any better over the years.



I'm also proud to say that my house is the only one still standing at my house.

December has been good and OH LOOK IT"S CHRISTMAS EVE!!! In case I don't get around to posting again before Christmas I hope everyone has a fantastic holiday and I wish you all the joy and happiness I can summon. Thank you all so much for taking the time to read my blog. Without you this blog would just be words in the universe. I love you all! Merry Christmas!



feel my sunlight



p.s. Since it's Christmas Eve, check out these two awesome videos!