The answers that hurt

God's timing. It's always right isn't it? But it hurts sometimes.

In my short twenty years of living I've come to learn this a few times.

I grew up a competitive power tumbler. It was my everything. I carried a little notebook to school with me and wrote my tumbling goals in it. When I was at the gym I was happy. And when my head would hit the pillow at the end of the day I'd dream of leotards and back flips.

Maybe you've heard this story if you know me very well. But as I was finishing my junior year I competed at the Power Tumbling Utah State Championships. I did the best I'd ever done and found myself with a silver medal and a score that qualified me for what would have been my fourth national championships.

I had it made. Or so I thought. But at the time I truly believed I was on my way to achieving the one thing that would make me happy.

Fortunately for me God knows what would really make me happy. And He knew that tumbling wasn't it. Long story short I received one of the most distinct promptings that I needed to quit tumbling. Many questioned this decision because it didn't really make much sense. And while I couldn't see what would come from this decision I decided to act anyways. I did the hardest thing I had ever done. I quit tumbling.

Over three years later I look back on my life and see how much God has directed me to where I need to be. I see the blessings I received from following that one little prompting. But at the time I knew I just had to act in faith that everything would work out for my good. Even if it hurt.

But while I see the blessings from that experience, I still sometimes have a hard time believing that the trials I face now really will work out.

When I came home from my mission a couple months ago I met a boy. A cute boy I might add. I liked this boy a lot and we started dating. I felt like the protagonist in a Disney Channel Original movie. Again, I felt like I had it made. I felt like I was on my way to achieving the one thing that would make me happy.

But I guess I still had something to learn about God's timing, and His plan because this cute boy recently told me he had been praying about our relationship and received an answer to his prayers. As he told me about the answer he had received my throat felt like it was choking as I fought the tears that were flooding to my eyes.

This answer hurt.

And doesn't it often feel like this? Haven't we all looked towards the heavens and questioned why things aren't working out the way we want them to?

I went for a drive tonight as the sun was setting just to think.

I watched the sun set with beautiful pink colors as I talked to my Heavenly Father. I asked Him about His plan. I asked Him why things have worked out the way they have. I asked Him what I needed to learn from this.

A familiar song from my phone played through my speakers.

While I can't say I know how things will turn out for me and the trials I face in my life, I can say that I have faith in God's timing. I know that His plan is to make our lives beautiful. Sometimes God's creative process includes a little heartbreak here and there. But I know it's those strokes of heartbreak on the canvas of our lives that creates the contrast that allows us to see the beautiful and bright parts of our lives. Our lives just wouldn't look quite as beautiful without them.

"Believe in God; believe that he is, and that he created all things, both in heaven and in earth; believe that he has all wisdom, and all power, both in heaven and in earth; believe that man doth not comprehend all the things which the Lord can comprehend."

-Mosiah 4:9

So now I'll trust in that. I'll trust that He knows what He's doing with my life even if I can't see the outcome yet. Because just as it says in Romans...

"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God." 

-Romans 8:28

So to all my friends out there in similar situations... have faith. Trust that things will work together for your good as you trust Him. Because I know without a doubt that His plan is always and forever will be the best plan.

-Whit

Studio C Extra!

Raise your hand if you're a fan of Studio C! Good. Now that you are raising your hand stupidly while staring at your little LCD screen I want to tell you about a super awesome experience I had.

For those of you who aren't raising your hand, Studio C is an awesome and hilarious family-friendly comedy show that plays on BYUtv every Monday at 10pm ET/8pm MT and is always available on YouTube. I highly recommend you all go watch some of their videos.  (Also read this blog post about the time I went to a fireside by Mallory Everton.)

The other day I had the crazy opportunity to be an extra on the set of a Studio C sketch! We filmed all night long in a dark creepy (probably haunted) abandoned warehouse in Provo. Filming began at 11:00 pm and I was on set until 6:00 am the next day and I must say that I have gained so much more respect for the filming process that takes place to make these clips. Talking to the cast members we learned that it can easily take 14 hours to make one 4 minute video and sometimes that means filming in the middle of the night. These guys are rock stars and pretty much the nicest people ever. Many of the cast members took time to talk to us and take pictures with us in between takes and it was so much fun to be able to get a little bit of the behind the scenes process. 

We were asked not to post pictures that we took while filming until after the skit airs, but here are a few pictures we got with a few of the cast members before filming started as well as a picture of the abandoned warehouse. 

Everybody watch Studio C season 6 which airs this Monday and watch out for my very average dance moves later on in the season!

Aside from occasionally hanging out on TV sets in the middle of the night, I'm quickly getting closer to Orlando! I report to the MTC in a whopping 17 days and I am definitely in crazy mode. There are so many thoughts and emotions going through my mind at a million miles an hour and it seems every other minute I feel different about leaving. Currently I'd say I'm excited to go, but not quite ready to leave.

Next week is my last week of coaching tumbling which I have been doing since I was a little thirteen year old and the kids I coach mean the world to me. I'm so grateful that I have been able to have this job for the last 6 years and leaving the gym is going to be one of the hardest parts about leaving. But that being said, I know it's my time to accept my call to serve so I want my tumbling kids to know that I love them to pieces. Tumble hard for me okay?

My farewell is next Sunday on the 13th and I am very excited to see everyone! If you want information about that check out my previous blog post. 

So I will see you all soon! And in the mean time here are a few of my favorite Studio C sketches for you to watch. 

I love you all!

-Whit

Someone else's trial

I walked into a room full of people from every walk of life. I was unknowing as to what kind of a meeting this would be I was surprised to notice that the chairs were laid out in a large circle all facing the center. My aunt with her young children running around in circles was seated a few seats to my right. My neighbor who had reticently set out on his mission on the other side of the globe was sitting across the room. As I sat there I noticed a lady who's husband had died of cancer only a week before sitting next to her daughter who was now left fatherless. Seated next to me was the girl from my math class that did't have anyone to eat lunch with and on the other side of her was the girl with bright curly hair who reticently stared in a movie. As I sat and observed the dynamics of the situation I watched as all the people I had met through my life as they began to file into the room. Each with their own unique trials and concerns.

But I didn't notice those concerns on the outside. I began to think about how cool it would be if I could have that curly hair and star in a movie, I looked at the girl who ate lunch by herself and thought "well if she wanted friends to eat with she would come over and ask if she can sit with us." I looked around each person in the circle and looked at how magnificent their lives were. I was jealous of the girl was sitting by her mom because she had the nicest car and the widow because she had a nice house. 

As I sat their noticing everything that these people had I began to want what each of them had. I wanted their cool houses and their nice shoes. I wanted to travel like they did and I wanted a job that paid better. I wanted to have their money and their home lives.

While sitting in my covetous state as each person settled into their seats a man stood up and welcomed us and thanked us all for coming. I, still not knowing what this meeting was for, assumed it would be like any other church meeting where we would sing a song, say a prayer, and then listen to a teacher for a few minutes before going home.

The man in charge said that we would be singing hymn number 241 Count Your Blessing and then we would have an opening prayer by sister Parkin. I opened up my hymn book and muttered through the versus and then closed my eyes for the prayer. Sister Parkin stood up and prayed that during this meeting we would all be able to pick new trials that would be easier for us. She also prayed that we might be able to have a good rest of our Sabbath day and that we might be able to drive home in safety when the time came. 

After she said amen the man that was conducting stood up again. He said that today we were all going to pick new trials. He asked us to take out ours and place them in the center of the circle. I was more excited than I had ever been. I thought for sure I had the hardest trials in the group and felt relieved that I would be able to get somebody elses. I quickly opened up my purse and pulled out my trials and tossed them in the center. After everybody had put theirs in the middle he said that one by one we would take turns picking new trials. As I waited for my turn I sat in anticipation about what new trials I would get. I watched as each person would get off their chairs and begin to dig through the large pile of trials and pick out the ones they wanted.

When it came to my turn I got off my cold metal chair and knelt on the hard blue carpet. I began to sort through the pile. While on my knees I read about a trial of having your husband die of cancer and how hard it would be. Because this is a more public trial I knew exactly who had thrown it in the circle. I decided I didn't really want that one so I threw it back in the pile. I pulled one out that said that their family was in pieces and that they couldn't remember the last time they did something as a family without someone getting into a fight. I for sure didn't want that one so I threw it back. I read about the teenager who struggles with a pornography addiction but doesn't want to tell anybody. I read about a trial of a first grader who got picked on at school for his lisp and a fourth grader that was reticently diagnosed with epilepsy. I read about the lady with lots of kids and not enough money to buy them Christmas presents and the sixth grader who had recently found out she was adopted. I read about the lady who desperately wanted another child but wasn't able to have one. 

As I dug through this pile I began to think about how none of these trials fit me. I quickly found my original trials and stuffed them back in my pocket and sat down.

After all of the trials had been taken from the center the man conducting stood up and read a quote by Regina Brett that said;

“If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.”

We all sat in shock as we realized that that was exactly what each of us had done. I stuck my hand in my purse and felt my trials between my fingers.

He went on saying that while on the outside we all think we want what everybody else has and that we must surely have the hardest trials when we begin to look at the bigger picture we realize that these trials we've been given were designed specifically for us so that we might be able to become stronger and have joy.

I raised my hand and asked "how in the world do trials bring us joy?"

He smiled as he opened up his scriptures to 2 Nephi 2:25 which reads "Adam fell that men might be, and men are that they might have joy." 

He then pointed out that under the footnote for the word "joy" it said that joy is the potential to become like our Heavenly Father.

It was then I realized that joy is not found in a big house or in becoming a famous YouTuber. It was then that I realized joy meant becoming like our Father in Heaven. 

Then another man walked into the room. He was wearing red and had a beard and He looked at each of us with kind eyes. The man conducting the meeting introduced him to us as our brother. Our brother went around the room and collected each of our trials from us and told us that he would go through each of them before we had to. 

He did this so that we might be able to have somebody to ask when we have questions about our trials, so that we might be able to have a shoulder to cry on when it feels like it's too hard to move on, or a hand to squeeze when the pain gets too bad. He told us that he would carry us every step of the way and that he would always be with us silently waiting for us to ask him for help. He then promised that if we endured our trials well that we would be exalted on high. 

I realized that to be exalted on high meant that we would become like our Heavenly Father and we would return to meet with Him in heaven. I realized that this was the ultimate joy that everybody was speaking of. I discovered that we needed these trials to become perfected and that while this man they said was my brother couldn't take them away, he would help me.

He then told us that his name was Jesus Christ. I remembered learning about Him in my primary class. He showed us his scars from where they nailed him to the cross so that we might all be able to live again. He also told us about how he suffered for each of our sins so that we could be made clean and how we can be cleaned by that atonement through repenting and being baptized.

At the close of the meeting after Brother Wall said the closing prayer the Savior hugged each of us and told us that He loved us.

When I left that room I knew that even though on the outside we all feel like others have better circumstances, that each of us were given trials that would make us strong. I also knew that the Savior was indeed our brother and that he loves us each so much that he was willing to suffer for all of our trials and afflictions so that we might be made whole. I also know that He died for us so that each of us would be able to live again.

Our Savior loves us. He is our brother and He wants us to return with Him to live with our Father in Heaven and that He will do anything to help us get back. While the story of throwing our trials in a circle was just a story, I know that the fact that we have a brother that did these things for us is with out a doubt true. I know this because I felt it. I learned this through reading the Book of Mormon and praying for my own testimony of these things. I know He is there and that He loves us more than we will ever comprehend. My testimony of Jesus Christ has brought me more joy and happiness than I have ever felt from anything else in my life. This is why I write this blog, It's why I have chosen to serve a mission in Orlando Florida in 38 days, because I want everybody to hear about how great their brother is and how much they are loved. I hope that I can follow in His footsteps and be his disciple. I hope that you come unto Him.

feel my sunlight

p.s. I went through the temple on August 1st! It was amazing and I loved every second of it! It is defiantly the Lord's house and his spirit dwells there.

p.s.s. Shout out to all my friends starting college next week! I love you all to pieces and will miss you bunches. Goodbyes are hard, but it will all be worth it in the end. The best is yet to come.

So I don't cry when I bear my testimony

You're sitting on a church pew that has been covered in a deep burgundy colored fabric as you eye the small child in front of you during the month's fast and testimony meeting.

You are touched by the speakers testimony. You can feel the Holy Ghost testifying to your heart that the words you are hearing are true, but as you sit there it feels like you and the baby might be the only two in the room who aren't crying during this testimony meeting because of the spirit in the room.

As fast as this thought enters into your mind the child starts to scream and their dad carries them out.

You begin to wonder why you don't cry when you feel the spirit.

A picture flashes in your mind of girls camp testimony meeting last summer where all the girls sat on logs around a campfire. One by one each girl would stand up and mutter what they knew to be true through tear-filled eyes and a chocked up throat. As it came to be your turn you stood up and rattled off that you know Joseph Smith was a true prophet, because you do. You also tell how you know that he really did translate the Book of Mormon and that you know the Book of Mormon to be the word of God. You know this because you've read it and you've prayed about it. You share your testimony of the Savior and his Atonement. You've seen it work in your life. You share this testimony and as fast as you stood up, you sit down without a single tear falling from your face.

As the testimony meeting comes to a close you watch awkwardly as your young women leaders hug the girls that are still crying. They thank them for their beautiful testimonies and tell them how amazing they are as you sit and think "did my testimony not mean anything?"

This question, in addition to many others have run through my mind on several occasions during various testimony meetings, and church events through my life. These thoughts include, but are not limited to;

"Why don't I cry when bearing my testimony?"

"Am I really even feeling the spirit?"

"Should I pretend to cry so that I can fit in?"

"Why do my leaders seem to like the girls that cry more than those that don't?"

"I wonder if my leaders even believe that I do have a testimony because they've never seen me cry."

"I just want to be able to cry."

"What's wrong with me?"

"Now my leaders are crying..."

"I don't know what to do when people leak."

These examples are my personal experiences, and they may or may not be your personal experiences too.

Now I must insert a disclaimer in here: I'm in no-way stating that it's bad to cry when you bear your testimony. It's great and I honestly wish I was like those of you that do, but what I am saying is that it's okay if you don't.

There. I said it. It's okay if you don't cry when you bear your testimony.

President Howard W. Hunter said: "I get concerned when it appears that strong emotion or free-flowing tears are equated with the presence of the Spirit. Certainly the Spirit of the Lord can bring strong emotional feelings, including tears, but that outward manifestation ought not to be confused with the presence of the Spirit itself."

Say what?!

I have never been a cryer. Sure, I have had experiences when tears have been present, but for the most part I don't cry when bearing my testimony, and neither does my mom or my sister.

For a long time I was self-conscious about it. I sometimes wouldn't bear my testimony because I didn't want to be looked down upon for not crying. Oh how I was so wrong.

In the Book of Mormon we read about King Benjamin's sermon that he gave to his people where he bore testimony of his personal witness of the Savior. 

When he had just borne witness to the people, "The Spirit of the Lord came upon them, and they were filled with joy ... because of the exceeding faith which they had in Jesus Christ who should come."

"filled with joy."

To me the phrase "filled with joy" doesn't put a picture in my mind of a bunch of people crying around a campfire. To me that is a group of people who have just had their lives changed. They have new-found knowledge and strengthened testimonies and they are excited about it. They are motivated for change. This is how I want my testimony to affect people. 

I was having a discussion about this topic with my mom and sister some time ago. My mom brought up a good point. Watch just one session of General Conference and you witness testimony after testimony of some of the Lord's most righteous servants. These are men that commune with God on a daily, and dare I say, minutely basis. These are men that have constant spiritual experiences and that have firm testimonies. Yet, for the majority of the time they don't spend their time at the pulpit crying.

If I could pick a favorite conference talk this would be it. Here is a powerful testimony of a man called of God. In fact, this is one of the most powerful testimonies I have ever heard, yet he didn't cry.

So my conclusion is this: If you are in a situation where you have the chance to bear your testimony then do it. If you get chocked up and feel tears swelling in your eyes then let them out. It is an amazing thing to be so passionate about something that it moves you to show emotion, but I also conclude this; that if by chance you stand up and begin to proclaim your testimony and tears don't begin to swell in your eyes; stand firm. You're testimony is no less than anybody else's. Your testimony can bring so many to know of the truth and you just might be the one that says something that somebody else needs to hear. Never again will I hold back my testimony because I don't feel that it is good enough. Never again will I hide the joy that the gospel brings to me. Because it is just that; joy. And I want to share it.




feel my sunlight



p.s. I can submit my mission papers in 31 days!!!

#knowHElives

ahhh I can taste spring in the air. It's wonderful.

I mean... It's spring break and both Easter and Conference are next week. I don't think life could get any sweeter.

I started working on mission papers and it feels fabulous! I had an interview with my bishop last Sunday and I am so excited about this new gospel adventure that I am about to embark on. (see what I did there?!) I also need to say thanks to my incredible young womens leaders who dropped off a cute "congrats on starting your papers" present earlier this week. It made my day. I have the very best leaders. I love you guys! 

One countdown finished and onto the next one! 55 days until I can submit my papers!

This month my school's seminary council extended a challenge that everyone spread their testimonies about Christ by posting pictures, quotes, and testimonies on social media with the hashtag

#knowHElives

You should all go look up that hashtag on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. It is all kinds of awesome!

And to wrap up this fantastic challenge we asked students (and teachers) to finish the sentence

"Because I know HE lives...."

This was what they said...

As you might have noticed I have a picture in there that said that I would "share my testimony on my blog" so here it is.

I have a testimony of Jesus Christ. I know He once walked the earth with the saints and he taught the truest doctrine of love. I know that He Atoned for all of my sins, and that He also Atoned for all of my pains and afflictions. I know that He died so that we might all be able to return to live with Him and our Father in Heaven again. I also believe that if I had been the only person that needed this pure act of love that He would still have done it because He loves me that much. I also know that He would have done the same for each of you. I know he was resurrected and that because of Him death has no sting. I know that He loves me so much more than I can even comprehend and that He wants what's very best for me. I know that He will direct my path as long as I'm willing to follow Him. I know that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is in fact, HIS church and that He is the head of it which is why it is the only church with His complete gospel on the earth today. I know that He lives. Because I know that He lives I will prepare to dedicate 18 months of my life to His service by serving a mission. I will also dedicate every second after that to loving Him and building his kingdom. I will do this by not being afraid to share my testimony, by loving everyone around me, and by letting His light shine through me (hence the blog name...."feel my sunlight.") I promise to do my very best, and because I know that alone I will never be enough, I also promise to rely on Him everyday. Because He is almighty, and all-knowing. He is ever loving and everlasting. He is Jesus Christ, the Only Begotten of the Father. He is my Savior, And He is my Redeemer.

And I love Him.

What parts of your are changed...
#BecauseHeLives?

What are you going to do...
#BecauseOfHim?

How are you going to help others...
#KnowHelives?

---

In addition to my testimony I also thought I'd add a "what I'm listening to right now" section because I know that you guys like them. I've been on a Christian music kick lately. {I've had my radio set to play K love for over a month.} So here is the music that have been playing through my headphones lately...

feel my sunlight

p.s. Who's excited for #LDSconf tomorrow and next week?!? I AM!

p.s.s. Shout out to all my seniors out there... ONLY ONE MORE TERM OF HIGH SCHOOL!

p.s.s.s. Sorry this is such a long post, but I just have to share this picture I found on Pinterest... It's the single cutest thing I have ever seen.

future sister missionary

I can start working on mission papers in two weeks...

...and on that note congrats to the following mega incredible people that I am privileged to be friends with that have received their mission calls...

Lauren- Papeete, Tahiti

Teri- Baltimore, Maryland

Dallin- Huancayo, Peru

Adam- Orlando, Florida

Okay seriously... all four of those goons would make it onto my list of "top favorite humans" if I were to make one, but I'm not going to because then everybody else would feel bad. You guys are seriously so incredible and I am so excited for you. Thanks for being such great examples for me to follow. I don't know if I can express how much you four have impacted my life and lets just say that I can't wait to join you! Y'all are going to do great things. 

I'm just going to dance around the topic of missionary work for a minute because that's the kind of mood I'm in.

I'm in a current stage of crazy. And by "crazy" I mean I just want to go on a mission so bad that it occupies a lot of my thought process. Everyone that is close to me could tell you the exact number of days I have on my countdowns to how soon I can start papers, and how soon I can submit them because I'm always telling people.

I asked one of my seminary teachers a few weeks ago what the best mission prep advice he had ever heard was. I already knew what he was going to say before he said it. 

He quoted Elder Bednar when he said to;

"become a missionary long before you go on a mission."

I rolled my eyes a little at that response. "Ya Brother Peterson... I've heard that already."

I obviously hadn't tried it yet.

For some reason I had it in my head that to "be a missionary before I go on a mission" I was supposed to dress up in a skirt and walk around the high school handing out pass along cards to the non-Mormon kids in the hallway and call it good.

But what I've come to realize is that "becoming a missionary" is much more than that.


Becoming a missionary means living like a missionary as much as I possibly can. No, it doesn't mean I will stop doing the things I'm doing, It just means I'm going to act and live a little differently.

It means I'll try my best to follow the missionary schedule. Wake up early and go to bed early. This is something I have a hard time with, but that I've found that the more I do it the easier it gets and the better I feel.

It means I'll dress modestly. I won't spend all my time in a dress, but I will make sure my clothes are appropriate and that they are sending the right message to people.

It means I'll change the kind of media that I surround myself with.
I love this clip from John Bytheway about marinating in today's media. Full time missionaries surround themselves with a different type of media. The music they listen to invites the spirit and they avoid anything that is mediocre. Imagine if we all did this in our every day lives. Imagine the kind of curve ball that would throw at Satan's plan.

It means I'll study. I'll study my scriptures. I won't just read because my seminary teacher told me to. I'll study because I really want to know and become like Christ. I'll study Preach my Gospel because I want to know the material I'll be teaching in six months. It means I'll study how to play piano. I haven't played since I was 9, but you'd better know that if by chance I get called to an area where nobody else knows how to play, we will be able to sing Sweat Hour of Prayer loud and proud every week. It means that I'll study my family history. I'll learn about my ancestors conversion stories, because in a sense their conversion stories are my conversion stories and if I can come to know them, I will be able to help lead others towards the gospel as well.

It means I'll put myself in situations where I will learn. I'll go to seminary, I'll go to church, and I'll go to mission prep, and I'll be doing my best wherever I am.

It means I'll be confidant. It means I'll swallow my natural inhibition to become shy and I'll talk to people. It means I'll bring up church topics with my friends of different faiths. It means I'll raise my had in seminary and that I'll be the first to share my testimony when prompted. It means I won't be afraid to be the Lord's mouthpiece.

It means I'll look for miracles in every day life. After Adam opened his mission call yesterday, I was at his house talking to his family. We got on the topic of car accidents and that led to the topic of the miracles we have seen in our lives. This just made me realize that if we are open to looking for them, the Lord will show us miracles. The Savior's life was full of performing miracles, but only those who had their eyes open could see them. As a missionary you need to have your eyes open and your heart softened for these kinds of experiences.

It means I'll be an example. I'll live in a way that isn't self-righteous, but in a way that lets others know that the Gospel is my happiness and that I want everyone to have this same happiness.

I love this video of sisters talking about preparing for a mission.





I'm not quite there yet, but I guess that's why the Lord has given me a little while to prepare.





What is some of the best mission advise you have ever heard?





feel my sunlight





p.s. Golly I'm not excited about the time change tomorrow.
p.s.s. I'm teaching Sunday school tomorrow all by myself.

Through the eyes of God

Wow January has been eventful and I've failed to write about it... typical.

I could rattle off all the cool things that happened to me this month, but somehow I don't feel like this would profit you much.

Being on seminary council I was privileged earlier this month to participate in testimony meeting with all of the class presidents at the school, in addition to all the seminary council members. As expected from this type of crowd you can imagine the kind of spirit that was shared in this meeting. There was enough testimony to cover you head to toe in happiness and lets just say that the inside of my heart was coated like hot glaze poured over a freshly baked doughnut.

I don't know how else do describe it.

As I sat there listening to the people that I joke around with, the people I send funny text messages to, the people I pass in the halls, and the people I follow on twitter, I was amazed at the conviction I could see in their eyes. I listened as my peers bore powerful testimonies. As I sat there listening to these students tell just how much they love their God, I couldn't help but think; "MAN! God sure does love them too. And he loves them a whole bunch."

Ever since that day I haven't looked at anyone in quite the same way. I learned that day that God loves the people around me so much. I began to see others through God's eyes and I began to see just how much he appreciated their individual sacrifice and devotion towards him. I also began to see the potential that He see in them.

I've heard it a million times, In fact, I recite the same phrase every Sunday... "I am a daughter of my Heavenly Father who loves me." We have been told since we were little that God loves us, but never have I internalized this like I did during this meeting. God really does love all of the people around you.

God loves that little kid that draws you pictures, God loves your friend that is struggling to enjoy seminary, and God loves the kid that can't get enough of it. God loves your friend whose parents are getting divorced, God loves the Cheerleader, the Theater nerd, and the band geek. God loves the boy who wants nothing to do with the gospel, and God loves the girl that is a self-proclaimed weirdo, God loves the heartbroken, and God loves the repented. God loves the kid that has a million friends, God loves the kid that has no friends. God loves your teachers, and God loves your students. God loves that girl who just turned in her mission papers, and the boy still trying to decide weather or not he wants to serve. God loves you.

I encourage you to try this week to see people as they really are. As sons and daughters of the God Almighty. Try your very best to see them as heirs to the kingdom of God. And I promise you that if you earnestly seek to see people in this way you will begin to understand them as God understands them, and subsequently you will begin to see yourself through God's eyes as well. Because He loves you so much.

 I attended a fireside given by Mallory Everton from Studio C last Sunday and I just want to eccho her words when she said that "This {the gospel} Is a good place to be."

I know that the truest happiness has come into my life because of the gospel. It is the very best place to be and my greatest desire is for those around me to feel this same joy.




P.S. I got an acceptance letter to BYUI yesterday! While I'm not fully decided on where I will go to college yet, I was excited to get that letter! :)

P.S.S. Like I mentioned above, I got to attend a fireside given by Mallory Everton from Studio C last Sunday. It was amazing and one of my favorite firesides that I have been to. Mallory is my very favorite actress on one of my favorite shows. If you aren't familiar with Studio C you need to check it out right now. I love her enthusiasm for life and I loved her message about being in the world, but not of the world. Thanks for such an awesome fireside Mallory! It was so fun to meet you!

P.S.S.S. On Tuesday I was finally able to go do baptisms for the dead at the Ogden Temple for the first time since it's been rededicated. I also need to mention that these four goons in the picture with me are some of my very favorite humans and that I'm so glad to have them in my life.

P.S.S.S.S. One of my cute tumbling students drew me this.... I can't handle how cute it is!

P.S.S.S.S.S.
Last time I shared music suggestions I had several people tell me they loved it so I decided I'd keep it up! Here is what I've been listening to this week! Let me know what you think!
 

we believe in enjoying good food

Hiya friends!

The other day we were hanging out with some of our family friends and we were discussing how when people you really like get released from their callings in the church you feel like you want to do more than just raise your hand to thank them. One of the younger boys offered his opinion on the subject by saying; "ya I always want to clap or do jazz hands or something!"

Can you imagine the bishop saying "Sister Smith has been released from her calling as the primary president. All those who'd like to show their appreciation for her service make it manifest" and then the entire congregation breaks out in jazz hands?!

haha That would be priceless!

I am so ready for Sunday tomorrow. I've spent too many days without leaving my house. Although it's been a good break, I can't wait to be busy again.

I was reading in Jesus the Christ by James E. Talmage today and I came across an awesome quote that I wanted to share.

"We believe in enjoying good food... 

we believe in getting all the 

enjoyment out of eating that we can."

I think that I'm going to put that in vinyl on my wall in my kitchen when I'm old and married and have a house. Isn't it just the greatest?

But I really do love the context behind it. Many people wonder why Mormons don't drink alcohol, or Coffee, or do other things like drugs. The answer can be found in the 89th section of the Doctrine and Covenants and is known as the Word of Wisdom.

The Word of Wisdom was a revelation given from God regarding what was made for the human body and what was not. It outlines what should not be put in the human body, but what I love about it is it also outlines things that are good for the human body.

Mormon's may not drink alcohol, but we sure do enjoy some good food!

On an unrelated note, check out these fantastic covers done by Maddie Wilson. I first became obsessed with her music when one of her tracks was on the EFY soundtrack and I have been listening to her ever since. What I love about her music is she always chooses clean songs, or changes them to make them clean. And often times I like her covers better than the original. 

 

feel my sunlight


p.s. Check back soon for an AWESOME guest post coming soon on New Years Day! I am so excited about this and I know everyone will love it!

6 things that make life more beautiful

Hello my darling people!

Could somebody please tell me when October happened? This has seriously been one of the quickest months I have ever experienced. It's like I blinked and now it is almost over. What happened?

Life is joyous right now. No, I'm not saying that there aren't rotten things in the fridge, or that difficult things aren't happening, I am saying that there is joy in the world right now and that you can reach it. Here are six things that have made my life more beautiful lately. I'm not promising they will do the same for you, but I hey, give it a try and let me know!

#1 Scripture Study

I know, I know. You've heard this before. But when was the last time you sat down and studied instead of simply read? I promise it will make life taste sweater no matter how bitter life tastes right now.

#2 Mindy Gledhill music

Seriously. I have been obsessing over her stuff all week. It's all 100% clean and 100% beautiful. I mean, how can you not love this?

Also, I tweeted about my current obsession with her music the other day and she favorited it. I was a happy camper.

#3 Other Happy People

In the words of Kate Bratskeir, who was quoted by Hank Smith at BYU education week: 

"Happy people surround themselves with other happy people. Joy is contagious. People are four times more likely to be happy in the future with happy people around them."

My "happy people" right now would have to be the seminary council that I serve on. I have hundreds of other people who would be included in this category, but the other students on seminary council are the very best at this. When I'm with the council there is an abundance of laughter and smiles even though we are doing work. I can honestly say that I never hear complaining when I'm with this group, which is something I don't think I can say about any other group of people I've ever associated with. As humans we like to complain. And these people make me see the joy in the world.

#4 Gifts from Children

Two of my cute tumbling students gave me this elastic bracelet today. There is nothing like a handmade gift from a child to make you feel loved. I have the best job ever. 

 

#5 Old Journal Entries

I was going through the notes on my phone the other day and I found this gem that I wrote back in 2012:

"Television characters have everything. A perfect life, minimal problems, a good romance, and sometimes even fantastic events that are unlikely to happen. 

I've always watched TV in awe at how perfect the lives of the characters are, and in turn sat in awe at how perfect my life is not. 

But what I've never seen on a TV show is a character laugh so hard they end up on all fours so they don't wet themselves. And I've done that twice today. So I'll take my imperfect laughter over any perfect tv show life any day."

I am a journal junkie. I love writing and my very favorite thing is to go back and read old journals, notes, and blog posts. It's my favorite thing.

 #6 Family Time!

I went with my family last week to go see the witches at Gardner Village. Hanging out with my family is my very favorite thing. I don't know how I'm going to be able to leave them to serve a mission in a year. They are truly the greatest. 

I carried around my fancy pants camera like the good photographer I dream of being. The results were the epitome of a blogger's paradise. I love fall!

What makes your life beautiful?



 feel my sunlight

glorious

 Oh my! Life is beautiful; busy, but beautiful. Life is glorious.

Remember when my mom was a rather popular DIY blogger before she dropped off the face of blog land? (Seriously... Check out this post from back in 2008 when I wore super cute scrunchies and my mom taught me how to install door frames. This is quality stuff.) Anyways, since my mom doesn't post her fancy projects anymore I thought I would. Her latest included a re-painted kitchen table, as well as several re-painted kitchen chairs in various colors. I'm kinda obsessed with the whole miss-matched color thing so I dragged them all outside and stacked them on top of each other. The pictures above are the result.

Life as been a serious balancing act reticently (see what I did there?!), and by "balancing act" I mean there are SO MANY awesome things happening that they are hard to handle. But somehow I've managed to keep them all stacked in such a way that they have created quite the entertaining spectacle.

This past week has been so crazy. When you can say you went to a homecoming football game, went zip lining, watched conference (which deserves it's very own blog post, so stay tuned), went to school, coached 9 tumbling classes, had three meetings, learned about velocity-time graphs, the primary colors of physics, and jig lines, began filming a campaign video for mock elections in Government, started applications for college, and created a video game all in the same week you know you have a busy life. And oh how I'm glad it's the weekend and that my only tasks for the rest of the day is to finish this blog post and buy myself a new journal.

Me, my cute friends, and our awesome guides after zip lining on Saturday!

So life is busy. But it is so so beautiful.

One of the most beautiful moments of the week was yesterday when my 9 year old sister asked me what the word "apostasy" meant. So I taught her the first discussion from Preach My Gospel. #BOOMBOOMPOW

This was seriously so cool for me. I have practiced teaching this discussion so many times in my mission prep class, but I have never actually taught it to someone that wasn't just pretending not to know the answers. It was such a real missionary discussion, yet it was extra special because she is my baby sister. I am defiantly going to love the missionary life when it calls.

My second beautiful moment came when I asked one of my tumbling classes what they thought I should be for haloween when one of my 3 year old students shouted "PINK PRINCESS UNICORN KITTY!" I think I might just have to do that.

So I'd say it was a successful week! Long and brutal yes, but also glorious.





feel my sunlight


p.s. Isn't David Archuleta just the coolest? That song is from the movie Meet the Mormons that premiered in theaters TODAY! I can't wait to go see it!
p.s.s. For those of you who don't know. I am a Mormon. Nice to meet you!

autumn is my favorite holiday

Happy October!

On Sunday all the Laurels in my ward were piled in a car on our way to visit a one of our wonderful girls who wasn't at church. While riding in the car we were discussing how much we liked autumn when one of the girls said "fall is my favorite holiday" meaning to say "fall is my favorite season." We laughed hard and later decided that fall was defiantly a holiday. Therefore it should be celebrated.

I love fall. Not in the stereotypical pumpkin-spice-everything-loving-white-girl kinda way, but more in the I've-been-living-on-this-earth-for-18-years-and-have-never-noticed-how-pretty-changing-leaves-are-until-now kinda way, which is why I've reticently created a Pinterest board titled "Autumn is my favorite holiday" which makes me so darn happy and boy am I itching for some fall photo sessions! And I'm also lovin' fall in the man-all-these-bloggers-are-going-on-cool-fall-adventures-I-want-an-adventure-kinda-way. And to satisfy that need I am going zip lining this weekend and I can't even stand how excited I am!

And oh how exciting this moment in time is for so many reasons. I love how the change in seasons always brings so much excitement. Here is my list of excitings for the foreseeable future. (yes, I did just decide to turn 'exciting' into a noun... deal with it.)

1. Homecoming Football Game this Friday!! Always an exciting thing about fall.
2. Zip lining on Saturday. Happy birthday to me!
3. General Conference. What?! That is this week?! You bet it is! Conference is my very most favorite thing ever. (It is equivalent to Christmas.) Y'all had better watch it!
4. Meet the Mormons. That cool new movie that is coming out on October 10th about those people called the Mormons (hint hint I'm a "Mormon"). I can't wait to see this movie and for the world to see just what the Church of Jesus Christ of Later Day Saints (aka the Mormons) is all about! Check out this awesome movie trailer!



5.Witch Fest at Gardner Village. Seriously the best part of Halloween.
6. Food. The food is always better when it's cold outside.
7. Family and friends. Because I'm really enjoying the people around me right now. People are really great.


So I'm excited for fall and life is awesome. What else is new?



feel my sunlight



p.s. If you haven't checked out this yet... you should. It's going to be awesome. I'll share more about it later.

P.s.s. Even though it's fall I'm wearing flip flops today... Because a little piece of my heart still wants summer.

Prophet's speak still

 

I am loving studying the Doctrine and Covenants and History of the church so much this year in seminary. We reticently had a lesson that sparked great interest in me to study more about the man by the name of Oliver Cowdery.

What I discovered was one of the most powerful piece of scripture I have ever read.

Oliver Cowdery was a school teacher. And at the time school teachers would live with you at your house (can you imagine waking up every morning and walking into your kitchen to find your teacher waiting to have breakfast with you? haha)

While Joseph Smith was in Harmony Pennsylvania working on the translation of the Book of Mormon, Oliver was residing at Joseph Smith's family's home in Palmyra, New York. The two had never met, but because Oliver was living with Joseph's family he began to hear about Joseph and the work he was doing in Pennsylvania. He became very interested in this work and began to feel a desire to go to Pennsylvania.

Little did Oliver know that Joseph had been praying to the Lord to send him help.

A few days after Joseph prayed, Oliver knocked on his door. Oliver had walked all the way from Palmyra to Harmony and had become an answer to Joseph's prayer.

Oliver was called to become a scribe for Joseph. And since I will never be able to dictate his experience as well as he did I am going to post his own words. (This can be found at the very end of Joseph Smith--History) These are Oliver's words, with my highlights in different colors and annotations in {brackets}.

{I love this!}

• Oliver Cowdery describes these events thus: “These were days never to be forgotten—to sit under the sound of a voice dictated by the inspiration of heaven, awakened the utmost gratitude of this bosom!Day after day I continued, uninterrupted, to write from his mouth, as he translated with the Urim and Thummim, or, as the Nephites would have said, ‘Interpreters,’ the history or record called ‘The Book of Mormon.’

• “To notice, in even few words, the interesting account given by Mormon and his faithful son, Moroni, of a people once beloved and favored of heaven, would supersede my present design; I shall therefore defer this to a future period, and, as I said in the introduction, pass more directly to some few incidents immediately connected with the rise of this Church, which may be entertaining to some thousands who have stepped forward, amid the frowns of bigots and the calumny of hypocrites, and embraced the Gospel of Christ.
• {Oh how I want to be counted among these incredible Saints}

• “No men, in their sober senses, could translate and write the directions given to the Nephites from the mouth of the Savior, of the precise manner in which men should build up His Church, and especially when corruption had spread an uncertainty over all forms and systems practiced among men, without desiring a privilege of showing the willingness of the heart by being buried in the liquid grave, to answer a ‘good conscience by the resurrection of Jesus Christ.’

• “After writing the account given of the Savior’s ministry to the remnant of the seed of Jacob, upon this continent, it was easy to be seen, as the prophet said it would be, that darkness covered the earth and gross darkness the minds of the people.   
• {And it is getting darker}

•  On reflecting further it was as easy to be seen that amid the great strife and noise concerning religion, none had authority from God to administer the ordinances of the Gospel. For the question might be asked, have men authority to administer in the name of Christ, who deny revelations, when His testimony is no less than the spirit of prophecy, and His religion based, built, and sustained by immediate revelations, in all ages of the world when He has had a people on earth? If these facts were buried, and carefully concealed by men whose craft would have been in danger if once permitted to shine in the faces of men, they were no longer to us; and we only waited for the commandment to be given ‘Arise and be baptized.’

• “This was not long desired before it was realized. The Lord, who is rich in mercy, and ever willing to answer the consistent prayer of the humble, after we had called upon Him in a fervent manner, aside from the abodes of men, condescended to manifest to us His will. On a sudden, as from the midst of eternity, the voice of the Redeemer spake peace to us, while the veil was parted and the angel of God came down clothed with glory, and delivered the anxiously looked for message, and the keys of the Gospel of repentance. What joy! what wonder! what amazement! While the world was racked and distracted—while millions were groping as the blind for the wall, and while all men were resting upon uncertainty, as a general mass, our eyes beheld, our ears heard, as in the ‘blaze of day’; yes, more—above the glitter of the May sunbeam, which then shed its brilliancy over the face of nature! Then his voice, though mild, pierced to the center, and his words, ‘I am thy fellow-servant,’ dispelled every fear. We listened, we gazed, we admired! ’Twas the voice of an angel from glory, ’twas a message from the Most High! And as we heard we rejoiced, while His love enkindled upon our souls, and we were wrapped in the vision of the Almighty! Where was room for doubt? Nowhere; uncertainty had fled, doubt had sunk no more to rise, while fiction and deception had fled forever!
• {Wow. Just wow.}

• “But, dear brother, think, further think for a moment, what joy filled our hearts, and with what surprise we must have bowed, (for who would not have bowed the knee for such a blessing?) when we received under his hand the Holy Priesthood as he said, ‘Upon you my fellow-servants, in the name of Messiah, I confer this Priesthood and this authority, which shall remain upon earth, that the Sons of Levi may yet offer an offering unto the Lord in righteousness!’

• “I shall not attempt to paint to you the feelings of this heart, nor the majestic beauty and glory which surrounded us on this occasion; but you will believe me when I say, that earth, nor men, with the eloquence of time, cannot begin to clothe language in as interesting and sublime a manner as this holy personage. No; nor has this earth power to give the joy, to bestow the peace, or comprehend the wisdom which was contained in each sentence as they were delivered by the power of the Holy Spirit! Man may deceive his fellow-men, deception may follow deception, and the children of the wicked one may have power to seduce the foolish and untaught, till naught but fiction feeds the many, and the fruit of falsehood carries in its current the giddy to the grave; but one touch with the finger of his love, yes, one ray of glory from the upper world, or one word from the mouth of the Savior, from the bosom of eternity, strikes it all into insignificance, and blots it forever from the mind. The assurance that we were in the presence of an angel, the certainty that we heard the voice of Jesus, and the truth unsullied as it flowed from a pure personage, dictated by the will of God, is to me past description, and I shall ever look upon this expression of the Savior’s goodness with wonder and thanksgiving while I am permitted to tarry; and in those mansions where perfection dwells and sin never comes, I hope to adore in that day which shall never cease.”—Messenger and Advocate, vol. 1 (October 1834), pp. 14–16.
• {He is the only way to true happiness}

Never in my life have I read a testimony with as much enthusiasm as this testimony written by Oliver Cowdery.

I was enchanted by the words "These were days never to be forgotten" because these are truly magnificent times. We live in a time on earth where miracles are happening around us. We live in a time that is paving the way for the Lord to come again. Last week I participated in the dedication of a temple of the Lord. This is just one example of the incredible things that are happening around us that we will remember for eternities.

I was also impressed by the description of his experience. I love the words he uses; "What joy!" "What wonder!" "What amazement!" "above the glitter of the May sunbeam." "pierced to the center"
I love these phrases because they accurately describe my feelings of the gospel. too often church is just something we do, and not enough something we feel. Oliver's testimony is a reminder of the great joy the gospel can bring us. This gospel is the only way to the truest happiness.


I just want to add my testimony to Oliver Cowdery's that I am enthralled with the greatness of this gospel. It brings me so much joy and It is this joy that I want to share with the world.

Now I never sat with the prophet one on one and heard him tell me what the Lord wants me to know, but I have sat with the Prophet one on millions and heard him tell me what the Lord wants me to know. And I get to experience this every six months.

Every six months we have the opportunity to listen to the prophet speak at General Conference. Every six months we get to hear prophet's speak just like Oliver did back in 1834.

I can't wait for conference next week. And for all the lovely females that are reading I want to let you know about the General Women's meeting. The General Women's meeting is an extension of conference where the prophet's speak directly to the women of the church. This will be broadcasted TONIGHT! I can't wait! You can watch it right on my blog below, or CLICK HERE to see other ways you can view live.

Be prepared for many more conference posts. For me Conference is about the equivalent to Christmas, so you can imagine I'm just a little excited. I love you all lots and lots!


feel my sunlight



p.s. Did I just write two blog posts in one day?! What is life?