10th grade lament

{My friends and I with Shannon Hale at the beginning of the year.}

 

This year has been a lot, but it doesn't seem like it should be ending yet. Don't get me wrong, I am very grateful for this summer to come and won't miss school a bit while I am chilling in Missouri, or meeting attractive warriors of Helaman's army at EFY this summer. But there are things I have learned this year about myself that I hope I can carry with me for a long time.

One thing I learned was that popularity absolutely doesn't matter. In Jr. High I was popular enough. I had tons of friends and I knew everyone. This year is very different. I began this year eating lunch in the park every day with a group of about 9 friends. This was minuscule compared to the huge friend group I ate with last year, but it was still good and I felt like I fit in. Now I don't share my lunch time with quite so many people. I still eat at our little gazebo in the park, but we never have more than three or four of us. There have been times when I wished I was back in that lunch room at Fairfield where our group would fill two and a half tables and we would still have people standing around the group. I wish I still talked to boys as often as I used to. But even though my friend group has shrunk in size, it has grown in how close we are.

I may have much fewer friends this year, but I have spent much more time spending time with friends than I ever have in my life. Part of this is the fact that we can drive now and that it is much easier to plan a get together with three of us than it is to plan a get together with thirty of us. But it is more than that. I have grown closer to several people this year and it has been fun to have someone to tell your embarrassing stories or your thoughts about boys to and have them there to laugh with you. Carina, Nayethzi, Marissa, Katie and Hannah in particular have been a few friends that I have grown closer to this year and have loved every second of it. I have grown closer to my young women’s group so much that the other night the three of us that were there sat with our leader and had a boy confession session for a good three hours. It was a blast and I love hanging out with those girls.

And finally, I must talk about my team. I have grown so close to my team mates this year. This year we struggled when several of our team mates and best friends left the gym to go peruse other things in their lives. I had to say goodbye to a few people who had been a part of my life for a very long time. It was hard for me to think that I wouldn’t see them every day as I had in the past. But in doing this I gained many new friends. I became closer to Teri and we became great friends. I became closer to the other coaches and we now have a lot of fun together. I became closer to the rest of the team. This year has been a switch for me from being one of the young ones last year in my group of tumbling friends, to being one of the oldest on the team. Being one of the oldest and one of the only few competing at nationals automatically puts you in a position of leadership for the team. Though I may not have been voted in to any official position, I feel like I must take the team into my hands and be a friend and an example to my team.

This year hasn't been my favorite, but it has been good and I learned a lot. I am ready for summer... too bad I still have two more weeks.



Feel my Sunlight



p.s. Um the church is true and I love it a whole lot.

p.s.s. EFY is calling my name. I can feel it drawing me in. Can I just go now?